I don't understand what I want.
I'm not happy here.
You asked me this morning.
And its hard.
I wish I could tell you that its hard.
but its something that I'm not even admitting to myself.
I guess since we've been doing this whole "affirmation" thing, I've been trying to not address, accept, put into words the problems that I have.
'I'm fine.'
I wasn't fine. I felt sick inside. Pasting sickly saccharine smiles all over my face for the sake of not worrying anybody else, much less myself. Worried about the obsessive gnawing of my mind.. overgrown with diseased sewer-rats.. I have so much fear. Mostly fear of my fear.
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