Words! How do you dash unheeded past the fortification of my lips.. in my emptiness I produce empty words, empty looks, empty actions.
Why can't I talk to you? Why am I so afraid? What am I afraid of?
I'm afraid of you. I can't see you clearly. I realize.. you're expressing an idea that I cannot comprehend -
you love me?
What is love, and who is me?
And here I go again, ruining perfectly good things, and perfectly good people with my internal shitiness and inability to accept things. I'm pretty sure I yelled at you the other night. I don't want anything from anyone! I don't want it. I don't want.
and maybe that's just it. Maybe I'm scared of desire, of wanting. Maybe its not that I've learned that the things I want are wrong. Maybe I've come to believe that wanting anything is wrong. Buddhism has taught me that much.
but desire defines who we are. Our likes, dislikes, our preferences colour our Self.
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