love is blind

I find my solitude with you.
And together, grow a life so wild, so tangled
that we cannot see before us.

But I am not afraid.
You are my side, my back, guiding me,
we, like blind men, groping through an interminable darkness
to a light that only we can see.

"The third treasure, daring not be at the world's front, is the Taoist way to avoid premature death. To be at the world's front is to expose oneself, to render oneself vulnerable to the world's destructive forces, while to remain behind and to be humble is to allow oneself time to fully ripen and bear fruit. This is a treasure whose secret spring is the fear of losing one's life before one's time. This fear of death, out of a love for life, is indeed the key to Taoist wisdom. (1989:209)"

elegance

to die, to be dead, to live on with those words unsaid, to pass on-
there is nothing more painful than holding on
to roses that climb your soul with their prickly thorns
that teethe you to believe love will sting,
but bees flit on while the birds sing of a love that you will never know

In beauty you find your loss
is only in the thought of gain,

you leave the sun in a passing cloud,
your wedding veil: a burial shroud.

and so it goes on..

Another song will lift us when this one is gone,
for flight is a prolonging of what will come,


fall slow.

to be free

and yet so resolutely chained. My mind wanders on, hindered, yet un-maimed by the advances - the stances, the dances of the future, technologically methodical.

Why is it rhyme and reason - a playful treason of logic, an efficiency project of derelict intellect suffering in knowledge


My mind is a gibbering buffoon - a saloon of the unseemly latrine of a tomb. And we shall drink to death! And to death, we drink and sink beneath crimson waves of peaceful, tortured, wasted unrest.

I sit still, and yet, in my chest is a squirming worm, a writhing mass of emotion that struggles in it's silent devotion.
discipline is meant for the king... yet it wrings us - we are the quiet sins. 

what is it.

what are the choices we make? the factors that differentiate us from one and another..
What are the airs we put on that leave us floating so far from the ground.. the reality

What does it mean when you want to do something because you enjoy but you can't seem to find the way
Find the way to do it the way you want

I suppose in doing what you want, you're getting what you want, so other factors are irrelevant

but to find the right people?

Laziness. Rebellion. Procrastination. Force of Will and Force of Won't.

There is something.. something other than Fear that I am fighting against. Procrastination: the putting off until later, is generally fear-driven, fear-based. Fight or Flight.


But there is something.. something else other than this that bars me from approaching. The feeling of overwhelm, the churn in your stomach as you approach a mountain of work, the dread you feel before an insurmountable list of duties: laziness?

But perhaps this is not all.. The mental drive that cheerfully eggs you on.. and the sullen, twisted sheer stubbornness of innate rebellion.. A natural perversion of Will. Rebellion. Difference and opposition for the satisfaction in itself of "proving another wrong." And so it is important what we believe in people. We either make, or mold them. Make, as in, fence in their opportunities, Mold as in outline their competition.