I just want to be back in bed with you.
Morning-time. With sleepy awareness, I pull myself upright.. feet browsing for purchase on the cold ground.. but the blankets tug at my arms, reeling me back into your embrace.. Comforted by the comforter. Imagining your arms again around me.. drinking in the delicious scent of you as I nuzzle to find that spot in your chest I love so much.
We wake up in pain, nowadays. Dreams tinged by nightmares, flinching crimson-avoidance colouring what should be honest sunshine... One cannot help but turn inward, when unable to reach outward - is it me? Why does everybody want to hide me? Why the shame? Am I not worth the truth? Why must things be this way?
Why, why and why?
Always my love and desire is something to be ashamed of. Whether in terms of talent, material, relationship - I must constantly fight the idea that what I want is not okay.
I must try my hardest not to believe it. That is not my voice.
I just want to sleep nowadays. Just sleep, dream, relax, and stay in that safety and comfort..
"to die, to sleep...to sleep, perchance to dream..."
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